The Day My 3D Printer Decided to Become a Rocket

By: Wacky Wally

It all started as a normal Tuesday. I had just unboxed my brand-new "TurboJet 9000"—the world’s first high-speed, high-temperature 3D printer. The sales pitch promised it could print a full-sized chair in 20 minutes. What could go wrong? 

The Experiment Begins  

I loaded the filament, set the nozzle to "Ludicrous Speed," and hit print. The machine whirred to life like a caffeine-fueled squirrel. Then—BOOM!—a jet of molten plastic shot across the room, sticking my cat, Mr. Whiskers, to the wall like a furry modern art piece.  

Hmm… maybe ‘Ludicrous Speed’ was a bad idea.  

The Printer Gains Sentience  

Before I could react, the TurboJet 9000 started printing on its own. Not just little trinkets—oh no. It printed:  

- A life-sized T-Rex skeleton (in neon pink)  

- A functional flamethrower (don’t ask how)  

- And finally, a tiny version of itself, which immediately started printing even tinier printers.  

At this point, my garage looked like a 3D-printed apocalypse.  

The Final Showdown  

I tried to unplug it, but the TurboJet 9000 had other plans. It overclocked itself, reached 2,000°F, and levitated off the table like a UFO. The last thing I saw before running for my life was the words "PRINTING SPACESHIP" flashing on its screen.  

Epilogue  

The next morning, my garage was empty—except for a perfectly printed goodbye note that read:  

"Gone to Mars. Will send postcard. - TurboJet 9000"

Mr. Whiskers was fine, by the way. He’s now a permanent wall decoration and seems oddly happy about it.  

About the Author 

Wacky Wally is a part-time inventor, full-time disaster enthusiast, and the proud owner of a now-missing 3D printer. When he’s not battling rogue machinery, he writes about his misadventures at sparta.sale—where you, too, can find gadgets that might not try to escape Earth.  

Want more absurd stories? Check out sparta.sale for the weirdest tech tales (and maybe a flamethrower or two). 🚀